Facing reality

Hey y’all 

It’s time for my NY trip in the am and I couldn’t be more ready physically everything is packed up and ready to go minus my cold stuff! Have my doctors note ready to go and all pills set allergies listed and all! Yes it’s a biggggf project to get ready for any “away from home” trip because there is sooo much I have to bring along with me it’s crazy! Mentally I’m not sure I’m ready….

Don’t get me wrong I love my family and friends and can’t wait to see them all! That’s for sure but leaving my one and only, my rock Razkal(jk jk y’all Thomas) never is easy for us! I mean think about it every single day you take care of someone help them with treatments and basically keep them Alive and kicking along with all my hard work to stay healthy up until going too!!! And now he’ll have 13days just to hang! I mean when I’m in the hospital for 14days every month to two months he deals with me being away but he still comes to the hospital helps me with chest pt at night when pt isn’t there and brings me dinner and sometimes lunch or breakfast depending on his days he works and hrs and also gets to see me on weekends…. all of this is amazing he works and helps me and then takes care of the house and furrbabies yeah he’s pretty amazing I guess :):):) 

He already told me “Babe what am I going to do without you while you’re gone and 13days!!! I’m gonna miss you” lol but then he tells his friends “13 days no responsibilities ahhhh!!!!” Lmao cracks me up 😂 😂 😂 I’m actually listening to the guys right now from the bathroom cause I was taking a nice warm bath for my aches and pains and fevers and I can hear his friend Vinny “Omgosh I love your pug, and he is sooo round…. pugs are funny” lmao Razkal will be good entertainment I’m sure and now I can hear my husband sticking up for Razkal like I do saying…. and I quote “you should see some of the pugs on some of the pug sites my wife goes on Omgosh they are huge and round Razkal really isn’t that big” lmao!!! Rubbing off on him a bit but he still calls little man pig! Lmao! 🐷 

Anyway I did get a book in the mail today that hits close to the heart! It’s one of my good friends books she’s amazing and has done a lot for cf can not wait to continue to read it already started before my tub and now I’ll be reading some during my night treatments then I’m sure before bed she’s inspirational! If it wasn’t for all the funding and research and speeches all over the world that she has done maybe I wouldn’t be here today! Margarete Cassalina is her name and her second book is called “see you at sunset” her first book was wonderful too if you look her up you can find both! 

I am now getting my masks together because with cf and how low my immunity is and how I get sick very very quickly a mask is in order! Yes everyone will look at me like I have the damn plague!!! Lmao I use to mind now I smile when they move away from me cause most times I get the whole row to myself and I won’t get their nasty germs! No people I can’t get you sick but you can most def get me sick so I’m gonna protect these little lungs as long as humanly possible no risks! Some cfers don’t take all procautions but to each their own…. I wear a mask while around other cfers within a couple feet of each other, always in the hospital and on plans! I also wear wherever I think people may be a little sick or something…. anyway that’s just the way I was brought up! To do all my stuff (which didn’t always happen because I was healthy when young and couldn’t understand) but I now follow most meds to a t!!! Only things I change around because I have gastroperesis and other issues is the enzymes and when I take my insulin these things are very specific to a specific person because we all digest differently….but my advice to anyone who may be sick and sick of hearing do your meds stay on top of your treatments you have to do this before that…. be thankful because I unfortunately it catches up with you as you get older and for parents if your children with cf aren’t wanting to do their stuff or rebelling my advice is back off a little let them find themselves because they will keep fighting against you and it will just effect their health in the long run! 

I’m a bit nervous about going to NY of course because it’s been six months since everyone has seen me and I have gotten sicken in some ways! What will they think? What will they say? How will they act? I’ve already had some very important people in my life pull away from me and it hurts but I’m gonna focus on the ones who do love me and do care about me! I’ll be totally excited to hug my mom once I get off the flight in NY and she’s waiting there for me!!! I haven’t smelt her(I know sounds weird but my mom always smells pretty) hugged her or been able to really tell her I love her and have missed her same for my Nan but I won’t prob see her till Monday sometime…. I’m super excited and couldn’t have missed them more but I do love my life in NC it has been wonderful! I’ve adjusted well Thomas and the furrbabies too I’m super lucky to have them and all the friends we’ve met along the way! I thought I’d have trouble making friends at 30years old but it actually comes naturally thank goodness 🙂 anyway it’s meds, treatments and chest pt time and we have to be to the airport by 830ish and check in and all that flight is at 1030ish and gets to NY 12ish soooo see some my New Yorks soon!!! Much love y’all!!! 

Lilsham :):):)

Gonna Miss the Moose a little I guess :):):) ❤️❤️❤️✈️✈️✈️😳😳😳